Achieve Your Dreams by Practising Self-love

Sep 9, 2020

Elizabeth Houghton

Sutton Full Potential Founder

Do you love yourself? Self-love, according to psychologists, is not only a critical determinant of your healthy personality but influences your behaviour, attitude, confidence, and performance. In short, self-love is the crucial ingredient in the recipe for success in personal and professional life.

Loving yourself helps you grow as a person, empowers you with confidence to pursue your dreams, and helps you develop healthy and happy relationships with others.

Although we may believe we love ourselves, self-love is not that easy to practice.

Tips to practice self-love

Be caring towards yourself

Care, compassion, and kindness are highly valued and desirable traits. While many people find it easy to be caring and kind towards people they love, caring about themselves is often seen as being selfish or vain. One of the most critical aspects of self-love is to practice self-care. Treat yourself with the same care, concern, and kindness that you show towards your loved ones.

Battle the inner critic

Never good enough. Too lazy. Terrible son/daughter/parent/student. Not talented.  What you tell yourself influences your ability to be loving towards yourself in a huge way.  Most people are familiar with the relentless inner critic that disapproves or criticises everything they do. Excessive self-criticism limits your potential by robbing you of self-confidence.

Researchers believe that instead of trying to shut down the inner critic, which is an ineffective solution, adopting a detached perspective can be a better approach. This technique is also known as self-distancing and is utilised in cognitive-behavioural therapy. To self-distance, replace “I” with “he/she” as though you are talking to someone else. Self-distancing helps you step back, pause, and think rationally. A career and life coach can also help you develop techniques of coping with your harsh inner critic and replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Maintain boundaries

It is important to establish emotional and mental boundaries by making a list of things that are most important to you. These can include being cared for, listened to, not being ignored or taken for granted, and so on. Let others know that these are your boundaries while recognising when someone crosses them. Being assertive and meeting your needs by taking action will reinforce self-love and strengthen your self-esteem.

Be positive

While we have no control over external situations, we can practice control over our thoughts and attitudes. For instance, when your job application is rejected for one or more times, instead of giving up and thinking you are a failure, maintain your positivity and work towards improving your skills or credentials.

Nurture your passions

A critical aspect of self-love is knowing your mind, your passions, and your life goals. Think about what you are passionate about, what you really want from life and career, and what is it that you dislike about what you are currently doing. Aligning your career with your passion and dreams helps you develop more self-confidence and facilitates personal and professional growth.

Self-love helps you realise that you are talented, capable, and worthy of success, admiration, and love and gives you a sense of accomplishment. Talking to a creative career coach is the best way to gain clarity on achieving your dreams and practising self-love.

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