How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Mar 25, 2021

Elizabeth Houghton

Sutton Full Potential Founder

We can not help ourselves, can we?

It is a habit hole you will never get out of, and it is a destructive habit.

We pick up our phones (through boredom) and start scrolling through our socials, in seconds we have access to a myriad of pictures of beautiful people and fantastic lifestyles. It is easy to start comparing after seeing their 5 Million dollar home, or their weekly vacations to a private island, you may hone in on all the things they have that you do not – you may see them as a necessity just to catch up.

We are often at odds with how we feel, part of us wants to feel inspired by the lives we are seeing when scrolling through our social feeds, we think to ourselves if they can do it, surely it is possible for me too? – but the truth is, seeing others soar as we feel stuck, or struggling to make the progress we want towards turning our BIGDreams into reality, leaves us feeling like shit.

So we throw ourselves a pity party, wondering why we are not good enough and feeling like a failure.

Comparing ourselves to others creates self-doubt, and when we doubt ourselves, we can not achieve what we want.

To be successful, to turn our BIGDreams into reality, we have to believe in ourselves. We have to think it is possible for us and we have to believe we are capable of making it happen.

Here is how we can crawl out of that habit hole, stop comparing ourselves to others and keep our attention on our self:

Be aware of when you are comparing yourself

Comparing yourself to others is a destructive habit you need to break. To break this habit, you need to be aware of when you are doing it.

Ask yourself, are there any triggers that make it more likely for you to jump on the comparison train?

Maybe it is when you have been over-consuming on social media or TV?

Maybe it is around your period when you are feeling a bit low or if you are feeling disconnected from your passion.

Perhaps it is when you are feeling stuck or have not been getting enough sleep.

Or maybe when you have not been moving enough (exercise) or changed eating habits.

Start to notice when you are comparing yourself and identify if there is a pattern or specific trigger.

Once you have identified your comparing triggers, you can start to make sure you are not doing those things. You can work on forming habits that serve you better, like taking breaks from social media or doing regular mindset work.

Swap out your scrolling habits for a mindful activity like colouring.

  • When you notice yourself comparing, acknowledge what you are doing and ask yourself:

  • Is this serving me right now?

  • Why am I comparing myself right now?

  • What thoughts lead me to this?

As your awareness of comparison increases, the easier it is to switch out the habit for one that serves you better.

If you have been stuck on the comparison wagon for a while, do not feel guilty. We are all own our own journey and moving at our own pace, not someone else’s.

As with breaking any habits, it takes time, and practice makes progress (perfection does not exist).

Good Vibes Only

We often start comparing ourselves to others when we are feeling a little low, discounted from our passion, tired or stuck.

We all have days (or parts of days) when we feel a bit off-balance, that is normal.

We are all capable of shifting our perspective from a negative to a positive. I personally do this in several ways, depending on what is going on for me at the time. I reflect on what I have achieved on my journey so far. Sometimes I can not see my accomplishments; sometimes, it takes a friend to point out how far I have come on my journey. Other times I need to feel good in my own skin, so I do things that make me feel good (hairdressers, paint my nails, go for a walk, listen to my favourite playlist).

When you are feeling confident in your own skin, you do not jump down that habit hole of comparison.

Mute your social channels

If your social feed makes you feel negative about your journey instead of empowering you – change your following.

Fill your feed with things that uplift you, inspire you and increase your confidence.

Mute social feeds that no longer work for you, this will have two positive effects. One, it will free up some time because you will have less to scroll through (you can take time to make positive steps towards your BIGDreams). Two, it will stop your ability to compare yourself, thus making you feel less ‘down’ on your achievements.

Love yourself

If we focus our energy on falling in love with ourselves, staying in our own lane and building self-confidence, we do not feel the need to compare ourselves because we are content with who we are.

Comparing yourself is an entirely normal thing to do, but it is a destructive habit you could do with breaking. The less time you spend on the comparison train, the more time you will have to take action and achieve your goals.

You are unique and have the potential to reach your success; there is no point in comparing yourself to all those other people; you will never be them; you will only ever be you.

Embrace the gifts you do have and use them to the fullest as only you can. 

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