Just Go For It

Aug 15, 2020

Elizabeth Houghton

Sutton Full Potential Founder

Just go for it. I was grabbing a coffee this morning, like I do every Saturday morning, at this beautiful coffee shop, a quick walk from my place that overlooks the water. It is so peaceful there, so calm. It is the type of place where you can go, and there is always someone to talk to if you want to talk, or you can sit in your own thoughts. I was sat there with my coffee, overlooking the water, and I overheard a conversation between a New Yorker and a young lady just finishing school. She was talking about how she had just started her own YouTube channel, but she was scared because a boy in her class has a channel and her other classmates bully him because of it. The New Yorker was terrific, gave her so much encouragement, and I could not help myself, so I turned around and rudely interrupted and told her to go for it. If it feels right and it is what you want to do, go for it. It is not the things in life we do that we regret; it is the things that we do not do.

I shared in my first podcast how much I had put off starting. I do regret how long it did take me to get started. At the same time, some days, I still do find it hard to be brave enough to record an episode. I always get that nervous feeling when I turn on my microphone to start recording, and I get this nauseous feeling deep down in my stomach when I upload my episode. It is a good nauseous feeling, which is why I keep doing it.

I understand the young lady’s fears from the coffee shop, there are a lot of Costa de la Haters out there. I can say that those haters usually are the people who have not followed their passion and who have not put themselves out there. The internet is a fantastic platform. It is a place where everyone can share their stories, and everyone’s story can be heard. It brings the best out in people, but unfortunately, at times, it also brings out the worst. So, those fears of being bullied or being trolled on the internet for giving something a go, unfortunately, are well-founded, but you know, we all know, deep down we all know what we need to do. We know what will make us happier. We know what will make us healthier. We know what will help us grow, but despite knowing this, we do not take action. We stop ourselves from doing what will make us truly happy.

How many of us stop ourselves from doing what feels right due to fear of judgement from others, and sometimes from others that we do not even know? I am the selfish one in my family. The first time I heard those words come from someone I love unconditionally directed at me, I was shocked, and it hurt a lot. Now I own it. I am okay with it. I also hear it a lot less. If following my heart, my dreams, my passions and being authentic to myself makes me selfish, so be it! I think I hear the words less now because when I talk to my loved ones about my life that I have forged for myself, they can hear in my voice my passion, they can see on my face my excitement and my happiness. I find that people throw around comments because they do not understand why you are doing what you are doing. If I never wanted to hear the word ‘selfish’, I could have lived up to the expectation’s others have of me, but to do this, I would not have been true to myself.

I moved out of the home permanently – I had moved out before and gone back – just before Christmas, a few weeks after my older sister, and yes, you could say this act was selfish on my part, leaving home just after my sister and just before Christmas. Still, I wanted to wake up in my new home with my now-husband on Christmas morning. That was the right decision for me.

My next move was 10,558 miles away from everyone I knew and everyone I loved. I forged my own path, which is so disconnected in some ways from my family’s hopes, dreams, and expectations of me. It is not easy, but I can tell you, for the most part, I am so happy. I know if I had stayed in my hometown living moments away from the people I love, I would be doing the same thing I was doing over a decade ago today. I would be going to the same pub on a Thursday night, having the same conversation with the same people. Now there is nothing wrong with that; I love every single person with all my heart that I used to go to that pub with, and I am overjoyed when I travel back home and get to go to that pub and talk to those people. Still, I always knew deep down inside if I continued in that routine, I would not feel fulfilled. I have always had big dreams, and I still do. I wanted to run my own boutique hotel (not in my hometown). I wanted to live in New York for at least six (6) months with one of my closest friends.

I still have a lot of ambitious goals, and the first few steps I took in forging my own path in my life did not happen without hurting the people I love the most. I was not met with unwavering encouragement and support. I have been told more times than I care to remember that I am not capable, I am not smart, and I am not able, and I have also been told to give up on many occasions. These comments have never stopped me. They have impacted on how quickly I have moved forwards with things; they have made me take stock and question my own judgement. In the end, I know what will make me happy, so although these negative comments have extended timelines, they have not stopped me.

My tribe is now made up of people who do not always understand me, do not always see my vision and my ambitious goals in the same way I do, but they do see how happy I am when I talk about my vision and my ambitious goals. They are there for me no matter what, through the good times and the not so good times.

My advice to you is to find people that know you and see you, all of you – the good and the bad and they are there for you, and they love you unconditionally. You may not always see eye to eye, but these people will always have your back. They are the people who are by your side physically or virtually, every step of your journey. They share your joy, and they open a bottle of wine or two with you when you are at your lowest, and they build you back up every time, and you do the same for them.

The Costa de le Hater’s opinions do not matter. The bullies do not matter. Do not let the haters and the bullies out there stop you from following your dreams, your passion and being true to yourself.

Find your tribe. It may not be the people you went to school with; it may not be the people you share DNA with; it may be the people you meet in your local coffee shop, those strangers who offer you encouragement and support. Whoever is in your tribe, no matter how big or small your tribe is, find the right people for you, the tribe that has your back no matter what. Do not change who you are to please others. Be true to yourself and choose people that choose you.

To the young lady in the coffee shop, follow your passion. If you want a YouTube channel, go for it. Find the people that encourage you and help you, no matter what. Just go for it. Do what feels authentic to you.

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