Rejection is Just Redirection
Sutton Full Potential Founder
‘NO’ – This is a word that many of us fear. Rejection hurts and is often misinterpreted as a negative sign. It is regarded as evidence of our unsatisfactory skills or self! Whether we experience rejection from our family, friends, or a company, it hits us hard. It strikes right in the heart which is the control centre to our feelings and emotions.
Rejection makes us wonder if something is amiss with us. We start tearing ourselves apart with self-criticism and doubting our skills and ability.
However, rejection teaches us and redirects us towards better things, people and situations. It is essential to stop seeing rejection as a sign of inadequacy. Instead, you must open yourself to positive thinking and view rejection as nothing more than a ‘redirection.’
Rejection Is In Fact Redirection
What if rejection is a path pointing you to the direction that is right for you?
Perceiving rejection differently will help ease your anxiety and will prove less of a disappointment. Your response to ‘No’ will be more neutral, resilient and braver if you flip the rejection script!
Rejection is no lost opportunity, but in fact a chance to use your skills, resources and energy on something more aligned and productive.
See it this way…
Rejection does not happen to anyone who is quiet and hiding his/her ideas and opinion. This is because they are afraid to be out and are constantly living in fear of rejection.
Rejection happens only to those who are out there, expressing their opinion, asking a question or putting their ideas forth. So, it won’t be wrong to say that rejection is a product of courage. You are living a brave life and not afraid to go out there and live your dream.
Interpreting Rejection Correctly
If you look at it, rejection lets your imagination loose as it makes you think about the reason behind the rejection. What did I do that made them reject the idea? How could I have done things differently? Would they have accepted it if I had done this in a particular way? These are questions you might ask yourself when faced with rejection, which in turn is likely to prove fruitful.
Rejection also makes you think about options ahead of you, and these options will enable you to see things from a different perspective. It leaves enough space open to take on new challenges and missions.
Rejection makes us curious and makes us want to question people’s opinion. Sharing of opinion enables us to see things from another person’s viewpoint. We develop more skills every time we get rejected. The most successful people you see around have failed once or several times before finally succeeding.
What does rejection indicate?
If you get rejected often, it means that you are probably the kind who is willing to take risks often. Taking on risks not only helps us develop our skills, it also enables us to deal with different and adverse situations. It strengthens our determination, integrity, perseverance and resilience. It teaches you to turn difficult situations into opportunities to improve yourself.
Here are few things you must bear in mind when faced with rejection:
You are strong
MRI studies have proved that emotional pain activates the same pathways in our brain that physical pain does. That is the reason we personalize the pain caused by rejection and tend to amplify and prolong the feeling.
It is at this time essential to separate the pain caused by what happened to you from what you know who you are. You can do this by talking and advising yourself the way a friend would. If you were talking to a friend who faced rejection, you would not tell him or her that he/she is undeserving. If you are not too rough on your friend, why would you be so brutal to yourself?
Believe you can do it
You know yourself more than anybody else in the world. Why let someone tell you that you are not good enough. Rejection is only a person’s opinion and does not define you. You might want to get another opinion or a few more. Try again and this time, do it differently.
You might have lacked enough knowledge to do the job effectively. It is a good idea to do more research and come up with a better plan.
Belief sets the pathway to success as the belief system in you knows how good you are. It knows your strengths and weaknesses. It will accordingly enable you to take initiatives that will lead you to victory.
Redirecting rejection – Seven Steps
We all face rejection in life. But, if it is filling you with negative thoughts and making you feel like a dump shell, you have to make the inner critic in you quiet.
Here are seven essential steps you can undertake to move from rejection to redirection:
- There is something to learn from it: Try to understand why you or your idea was rejected. Own up your mistakes if you are able to comprehend and see how you could have done things differently. Use it as a learning experience and move ahead. When we are rejected, or we fail, our first response is always to defend ourselves and blame others. You will heal when you take complete ownership of your actions and do some self-introspection.
Ask yourself: ‘What have I learned or gained?’ You will realize that you are able to learn from your negative experience. Instead of beating yourself, you have the opportunity to turn things around and learn valuable lessons from it. You will soon feel that every experience, negative or positive, has made you stronger than you were. You will understand that you can cope with rejection or loss much better now.
- Watch out for what you are telling yourself: Your belief system has a great deal to do with what you tell yourself. If you are constantly feeding yourself with negative thoughts, you are bound to feel miserable and never pull yourself back in line. For example: ‘I am not good-looking,’ ‘I can’t do it because I am not smart enough,’ ‘I’ll never find anyone to love me.’ Negative thoughts or talks can destroy even the strongest. If you believe that you deserve bad things, you will naturally attract bad people and bad things. That happens because what you feel from inside manifests outside as well.
- See if you can fix it: Once you are aware of your mistakes, try to see if the relationship can be mended. A ‘No’ does not make you a bad person, but it is important to try.
- Forgiveness is key: While it is necessary to forgive others, it is equally essential that you forgive yourself. The assumptions that you have on a relationship or your perception on what people think of you is rarely true. Give yourself a benefit of doubt and move on.
- Reconnect with the supreme: Rejection gives you the opportunity to reconnect with what you truly are and enables you to make the right choices for yourself and for all those involved. Rejection demands that you trust in the future and take your learning to the next level.
- Seek support and reach out: Do not hesitate to reach out and seek support from your loved ones. Stay connected to make sure the rejection does not stop your growth process and drags you deep into depression or in the darkness of low self-esteem. Make sure you accept all the love and support that is coming to you.
- Take care of yourself: Rejection hurts you physically as well as emotionally. You must take time to heal. While doing so, treat yourself well. Do things that make you feel good about yourself.
- You are only pushed out of your comfort zone: Whenever you experience rejection, you got to tell yourself that you are not rejected, but merely pushed out of your comfort zone. You now know there is something you need to work on. Go ahead and put in all your effort in understanding yourself and chalking out your next move.
- Let rejection not define your self-worth: We tend to personalize rejection and make it something of an event! We begin to identify with rejection and all the negative things that happen to us. If the rejection is taking you down the route to self-destruction or low self-esteem, you need to delve deeper. Work consciously with your mind to shift your focus to positive things. You need to tell yourself that things will work out eventually. You have to be patient and continue to uplift yourself, remain open to criticism and learn new things in the bargain.
- Train your brain to look for blessings: It may seem outwardly that you have lost something or have been rejected. But you must train your brain to understand that the rejection was perhaps a blessing, and not a curse. Believe truly that you are being protected by a higher power. That is when you will begin to see rejection as redirection to something better. The faith will fill your inner soul with peace. You will soon realize that you have not lost, but gained through that rejection.
Wrapping Up – Do not be afraid to dream
Rejection is not meant to push you behind, but to push you forward with even more vigour and zest. It is a way of redirecting and saying: ‘you got to be smarter than this, try something else.’
It is like being stuck in a river, and having to change your course due to the strong wind. You were forced to change your course and find another way. It is a rejection, and also a redirection in the right path as it will keep you safe. The new path might seem arduous and hard, but is the only way to take you to a better and safer place. In the process, you learn to fight with grit and determination, putting all your inner strength to test.
Do not be afraid to dream, and do not be afraid of being rejected. Keep your goal alive and ‘dream big.’ You have not been rejected, only redirected. That means that you have been delayed, but not denied.
You are bigger than you think you are. Make your journey an eventful one and let your mind and body be fuelled by your victorious past. Move towards your big dream. While you might continue to experience rejection at times, you will learn to deal with it better. You will learn to use rejection as a fuel to make your life worthy.