Why showing your vulnerabilities will enable you to be stronger
Sutton Full Potential Founder
What does the word ‘vulnerability’ mean to you? The word depicts weakness, hurt, fear or betrayal to many. These are the emotions that people go through when they reveal the vulnerable aspects of their personality to others. Vulnerability, however, is not at all a sign of weakness, but in fact reveals your strength of mind. You are strong and so you are not afraid to show your real self that exposes your vulnerability.
You expose your weakness when you try hiding your emotions and acting over confident. Your weakness will be evident only if you are arrogant, disrespectful and often dismiss others around you. You will never be able to connect and build deep human relationship if you are afraid of showing your vulnerable side. Human bonding develops when you do not fear to show your underbelly.
Examples of vulnerability
- Here are few examples of vulnerable behaviour:
- Telling someone that they have upset you
- Putting forth your ideas out there and risking rejection
- Sharing your personal experience that you would normally hold back
- Having the courage to show that you were ashamed of a particular action of yours
- Getting back in touch with someone you haven’t connected with for a long time and letting him or her know that you missed them
Here are five signs that prove how showing your vulnerabilities can enable you to be stronger:
- You are not waiting for people to love you
If you have accepted yourself completely, you wouldn’t be bothered with what others think of you. You need to delve deeper and unearth yourself. This will help you to confidently walk into a room without worrying about the opinion that others have about you. Vulnerability allows you to be strong and courageous. You will not feel the need to hide any part of you that is hurting or ugly for people to see. If you are comfortable showing your vulnerability to the world, it simply means that you are aware of the beauty within your soul. You are open to healing and because you love yourself unconditionally, you don’t seek love from outside. This requires so much strength that most people are never able to gather.
- You love yourself unconditionally and are ready to offer it to others
Human beings are emotional beings, and so we need love to thrive. Most of us are however looking out for love, but fail to look within. A vulnerable person who has opened the doors to his or her vulnerability is in no fear of rejection. This person has realized his/her self-worth and can hence offer it openly to others. Giving and accepting love puts you in a dicey situation as there is always a possibility of getting hurt. By being vulnerable and opening your heart, you show that you are a beautiful individual.
- Vulnerable people do not repress their emotions
Vulnerable people are not afraid to show their emotions. They allow it to flow freely and are not waiting for others’ judgment or opinion about themselves. Most of us fear to show our emotions and simply repress our feelings. Since vulnerable individuals are not concerned about societal norms, it becomes easier for them to express their compassion.
- They can show their dark side to the world
If you are vulnerable, it is because you have accepted your flaws as much as you have accepted your strength. You are hence comfortable to embrace and showcase your dark side. You will not be affected if somebody runs away from you as you know those individuals are unable to handle vulnerability. If you can find and accept the beauty and strength in your vulnerability, you are wise. You are not ashamed of your weakness as you are honest and show immense strength and maturity.
- Vulnerability calls for embracing all feelings
You as a vulnerable person are ready to embrace good and bad emotions. You know that emotions cannot be put in categories such as positive or negative. Emotions exist and what matters is how you handle them. You no longer want to hide your fear, anger and pain. You are aware that you have the ability to transform the darkness into light if you shower yourself and those around you with love.
Being vulnerable means you accept yourself wholeheartedly and honestly. Vulnerability is about accepting things the way it comes and expressing it freely. A battle cannot be fought without openly showing off the part you were once ashamed to show.
Dealing With Struggles And Rejection
Is there a person you are very attracted to, but fear letting him/her know how you feel? Take the leap of faith and see if it is worth it. You will never know if you don’t ask. The person might say that they do not feel the way you do, but at least you now don’t need to waste your time. You open the doors to love so that somebody more worthy can find you! You tried and realized that he/she was not the right person for you and hence you learned from your experience.
Whether you got fired from your job, or someone you loved unconditionally dumped you, you do not have to suffer alone in silence. While you don’t need to announce it to the world, it helps a great deal to share your feelings with someone you trust. You must believe that there are people who care for you and want to see you happy.
It hurts, and we all know because we all go through it. It is okay to cry and let it all out. Take some time for yourself and do all that makes you feel better. If you want to lock yourself in your home for days and watch a movie, do it! Do whatever it takes to heal! Time most certainly heals and then it won’t hurt so much!
Do you remember the business idea that you talked about a few years ago? You spoke about it so passionately. If you didn’t have to worry about money and investment, would you go for it? If the answer is yes, go ahead and take the plunge. You will never know if you don’t try. Failing is not evidence of your lack of intelligence. It only goes to prove that you were brave enough to chase your dreams. Your failure might lead you to something better.
Five Ways Vulnerability Can Make You a Stronger Leader
In the Ted Talk titled “The Power of Vulnerability,” Brené Brown talks about all that it means to be vulnerable. It means embracing yourself to a world of uncertainty, willing to accept risks and expose you emotionally. Vulnerability can have a powerful impact on our lives making you stronger. It enables you to lead from the front, manage and inspire your team in the most effective manner.
- Vulnerability reveals your trustworthy nature: Being vulnerable reveals your honest and trustworthy nature. When you open up about your feelings, goals and inhibitions, you are telling your subordinates that it is alright to do so.
- Vulnerability helps empowers others: You put yourself in a position where people feel comfortable to approach you with their feedback and ideas. This in turn enables you to lead your team to victory. Simply put, your vulnerability enables you to empower all those around you.
- Vulnerability promotes transparency: Your vulnerable nature promotes transparency between you and your team members. This in turns gives way to a stress-free work environment. All expectations are laid down and nobody is left wondering what they are expected to do. It also advocates teamwork and collaboration so that everybody can move towards common goals.
- Vulnerability makes you more approachable: Who wants an unapproachable manager? Most people who leave the company do it because of their manager and not the company. By being vulnerable, you make yourself more relatable to others. Employees are more likely to put in all their hard work under the guidance of somebody they respect.
- Your vulnerability allows people to be themselves: Your team will be perfectly comfortable with you around. They will not mind if you had to come up to their home and see them as they live. That is because they know that it is okay to be the way they are as you will not judge them.
Vulnerability enables you to be relatable and accessible, thereby building loyalty and trust. Nobody is perfect, and so it is okay to be imperfect. Pride yourself in showing off the real you. Leaders who are vulnerable, open up their mistakes and their imperfections stand to gain much more than those who don’t.
Introspect – Heal Your Pain
It is important to examine yourself to heal. You must ask yourself why you react when you are hurt.
We all have pain thresholds and each of us need to be aware of it. You cannot allow your hurt and negativity to take over your emotional well-being. You wipe of all negativity and integrate your whole being into yourself when you heal.
You suffer when you focus on your pain. You are allowing negativity to take control of your life when you stop admiring the beauty and richness of your soul.
It is like looking at a wound through a shattered glass. By doing so, you are giving more attention to your existing pain and weaknesses. You will realize the completeness of your being once you heal yourself.
Do not be afraid of being vulnerable by taking calculated risks. While talking about vulnerability, it is essential to mention ego. Do not allow your ego to sabotage your healing process. Let go of ego and do not see vulnerability as a sign of weakness. Becoming vulnerable can be your biggest triumph. It can be your greatest strength if handled well.
Becoming Vulnerable – How Do I Do It?
You might wonder how you can turn yourself into a vulnerable person as the word itself is so scary! The best way to start it is by doing it in safe places with people you trust and confide in. Once you are comfortable, you can move to doing it confidently in other situations.
Talk about something you are afraid of to a close friend, and later drop it in a random conversation with a stranger. Once you are comfortable with that, move to a workplace setting. Each time, you will feel more confident and secure to open and reveal your true self. This way, you will not only feel more comfortable with yourself, but will also help others to understand you better.
Wrapping Up – Conclusion
We fear vulnerability because we crave certainty. However, if you wish to emerge a winner and build your emotional resilience, you must become comfortable with ambiguity. You must not fear taking risks or be afraid of showing your dark side which you consider your ‘weakness’.